I recently watched "PS, I Love You" on strong recommendation and the express promise that I'd love it. People had come out of the cinema ecstatic, a new lease of life - my mum and sister couldn't stop talking about it - even my mate Gav confessed he nearly cried, and he's from Pollok for Christ's sake - it was suggested that this may indeed be the first film to make me cry since I shed tears at the ending of "My Girl", aged 6.
(Seriously though, Macaulay Culkin dies?! What the hell?)
So I survived only half an hour of "PS, I Love You" before refusing to suffer any more. Here's why: Gerard Butler's accent.
Now, my sole previous experience of Gerard Butler was 300. With that, he went straight to the top of the list with Russell Crowe and Kiefer Sutherland of celebrities I'd love to sink a pint, have an arm-wrestle and share a packet of KP salty nuts with.
Just look at this shit: "This is Sparta!"
So I don't think it was unreasonable for me to assume that his role in "PS, I Love You" would be vaguely similar; that if he wasn't booting people off of cliffs, he was at the very least wrestling wolves and shouting loudly.
Then it turns out that he's a loved-up (I suppose the clue was in the title) half-man with the world's WORST ACCENT OF ALL TIME: What is this??
He's from Paisley! Gerard Butler does not speak with an Irish accent. There is a sea between Paisley and the people who do speak with an Irish accent.
His voice is actually nails-on-a-blackboard intolerable, which is why the DVD had to go off. I admit, I did cry at "PS, I Love You", but only at the worst impression of an Irish accent ever commited to film.
Ways they could have made this film better:
1) Cast an Irishman as the Irishman
2) Have Gerard Butler play a Scottish character
3) Have Gerard Butler play an Irish mute
King Leonidas must be shouting loudly in his grave.