Friday, 24 October 2008

You are less of a man than Aron Ralston

You are less of a man than Aron Ralston.

Sorry, but you are. I am. Even Jack Bauer is, and I don't say that lightly.

You think Chuck Norris is manlier? Wrong. Despite what the idiots at Chuck Norris Facts may claim Chuck Norris can do, all he's actually done is grin and grimace his way through a bunch of shite films that no-one actually watches.

Aron Ralston, meanwhile, went off into some mountains alone and got trapped by a falling boulder. His arm was crushed between the huge rock and a mountain wall, pinning a lesser man to his untimely death. After five days of being trapped, out of food and drink and with all hopes of help diminished, Ralston was pissed off and decided he was having no more of this bullshit - so he used the vice-like grip of the boulder to break his own arm and then sawed through the bone with a dull pen knife.

That's right. He cut off his own fucking arm.

Starving and dehydrated, arm bleeding profusely and close to shock, it was enough to kill any lesser man (you, I or Dawn for example). But not Aron Ralston. Bleeding arm and all, he then rappelled 65 feet, hiked 7 miles and climbed 800-feet to safety.

Here he is now, looking suave with a claw for a hand:

Yes, a CLAW FOR A HAND. Could he actually be any manlier?

Aron Ralston: manlier than Dawn.

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