It's time to introduce you to someone - a lady, if she can generously be described as that, who will be a recurring character in my blog. That lady's name is Dawn Roper, and she is a very silly person. With Yvonne, who we'll meet later, she forms the worst double act since Hitler & Göring.
So. Some friends and I recently took a wee road trip down to Manchester for a club night, foolishly allowing Dawn to tag along. We arrived in town, unpacked the bags at the hotel and set out for the night with designated driver Kel at the wheel.
As we stopped at some traffic lights, clubbers and revellers spilled out in front of the car and went on their merry way. Gesturing at one pair, Dawn casually remarked: "Those two went a bit overboard with the fake tan, eh?"
"Dawn," I managed. "Those women are black. Actually black."